perception, reality, and voting

ever wish that your life had an narrator making every moment that much more exciting?

i know i do...i have in the past as well...

just imagine if when you clicked on the link for my blog, a deep voice shot of your speakers and said
"and now, for the millions at home and the hundreds of thousands on mobile devices...
ladies and gentlemen, I bring you the shocking new episode of John Gallimore's critically acclaimed...
.....
....blog"

i hate that word...

when i was a kid, i just remember thinking "but i'm the main character.  i can't die."

...this was also around the time when my goal in life was to someday become a cartoon....
didn't wanna be a fireman or a policeman or doctor.....just a cartoon...

that was my perception of the world.  it was my reality.

perception and reality are two very dangerous words.  over the years, i've realized that we must tread lightly when dealing with these ideas.  if you wanna delve a little further into what i'm saying, keep reading...otherwise, press ctrl f and search for "vote" and you'll find yourself at the latter part of this little schpeel.

in fact, why don't you do that.  save yourself and your conscious mind. 

...

warned you...

consider a grandmother and her granddaughter.  the grandmother has witnessed the entirety of her little blossoming granddaughter's life.  in doing so, there will forever be etched into the stone of the perception of her granddaughter the images of her with pig tails, bare feet, and innocence.  this perception serves as one of the layers that creates her reality.  *note - this is the grandmother's reality as created by her perceptions.

got that?

granny's interactions + little girl + innocence + memories = grandmother's reality
                   
                          ^
                  (perception)

i feel like those math teachers i hated...

so, in all actuality (notice this is actuality not reality), time danced its weathering waltz with the girl, and in secret, she developed a taste for budweiser and tattoos shortly after dropping out of college. 

where does this leave us?  does this girl have the right to shatter her grandmother's reality by revealing all of her shortcomings and nuances?

i honestly do not know.

i don't even know what's prompting me to write about this...but i am...

i've always been an "it is what it is" kinda person.
perhaps, i'm just fascinated about the human condition's struggle with perception, reality, and actuality.

let all of this sink in like a nice dinner.  digest it.  apply it to something or someone in your life.  what is your perception of them?  theirs for you?  lastly, see if you are brave enough to face the actuality rather than a custom reality.

one of my perceptions; all politicians are crooks.

this perception has been shaping for a long time and has been a fully formed reality since before i was 18.  that's why i don't vote.  let's dive into that word a bit, shall we?

truth time, i may have googled "vote definion" a few days ago because no matter how simple the word, we so often misconstrue definitions to fit our own device.

disliking this practice is also why i don't wanna be a lawyer.

this four letter word (huh...how about that) has a myriad of dictionary definitions.  i was always taught that the first definition to appear is the one most universally accepted.  when used as a noun, it is as follows:

vote -a formal expression of opinion or choice, either positive or negative, made by an individual or body of individuals.

and as a verb:

vote - to express or signify will or choice in a matter.

i like that this word "choice" is being tossed around a bit.


no offense to the people i knew and knew of who went to my undergraduate school and had aspirations of political careers, but 99% of you were not motivated by benevolence.  in fact, i was utterly disgusted with the amount of pseudo political corruption that went on a small liberal arts school in west virginia.....


let's imagine that on a national level.


negative.

that's nothing i want a part of nor want my name associated with in any way, shape, or form.

when you vote, you're aligning with that person.  you're siding with them.  
you're buying their product.  you're a consumer of their goods.
same as when you buy a t shirt for a sports team or band.

you represent them, and they represent you.


wanna know why?  because that shapes the world's perception of your person.  that creates the reality you live in everyday.  

BUT JOHN ITS YOUR RIGHT AND DUTY AS AN AMERICAN TO STAND UP AND VOTE

...i just did...

my vote is that nothing and no one we currently have is good enough for any of us.
my vote is that i cannot put all of my faith in any one of these people.
my vote is that i do not believe in these people or this system.

this is my perception...and who are you to tamper with my reality?

exposition

it's funny...i've never been particularly great with introductions.

....or goodbyes, for that matter.

i find them both to be awkward.  i always have.

i've also realized that i find reconciliation, even in the slightest amount, to be equally as uncomfortable.  say for instance that a friend has been trying to call me when i've been working and i've legitimately been busy and unable to answer their call.  for most people, a simple "hey bro, sorry for the missed connections.  just been busy."

easy enough, right?

wrong...it's awkward.

but that's just me; i'm a *pause for cheesy tagline* square peg in a round hole.

....

i've considered writing a blog for sometime.  i mean, i've been writing since i was a kid.  some of my first works included rewriting songs that were popular on the radio.  i never really thought twice about it.  i just wrote....stuff...

however

blogging seemed like the thing to do.  it's cool to blog.  it makes you interesting or dark or artsy or the type of person who wears a beret or blah blah blah blah blah blah blah.  i shouldn't feel that way because it is just as much my right as anyone else but now it's gonna feel like that moment when you say...

dude, i love this band - then, you're annoying friend is all like

NO WAY DUDE IVE LOVED THIS BAND FOREVER AND YOU'RE JUST TRYING TO BE COOL NOW THAT THEY'RE COOL and then you say

no seriously, i've liked them for a long time...

and then it's awkward...

square peg, round hole...

even announcing that i'm blogging is awkward.

 i guess the rest of this can kinda serve as an overview to see if future posts may interest you.  i wanna explain where this whole square peg, round hole title came about.

as early as age 6, i knew i  was different.  most of my classmates were concerned about whether or not juice would be served with lunch.  i was too busy wondering if desert storm would erupt into a conflict that may result in warfare on US soil.

square peg, round hole

at age 7, they began to pull me out of my regular classes for something called "TAG" where i was surrounded for supposed like-minded individuals of my age group.  i found communicating with them easier then my previous peers, but still quite unable to fully express myself.

square peg, round hole

in 5th grade, my group of friends were having lunch at the start of the year and i was socially ostracized for choosing airwalks instead of nike tennis shoes.

square peg, round hole

in 6th grade, i had the first conversation i can remember having about race with a friend who is black.  it was the first time i realized that some people judged based on color.

square peg, round hole

i find punk rock.  i find skateboarding.

square peg, round hole

i discover that there exists more folks that think along my wavelength, but my never ending struggle for a realism over idealism prevents me from truly agreeing with most of my cohorts.

square peg, round hole

while existing in a realm of independence, i join a fraternity while my hair is dyed different colors.

square peg, round hole

....

i'm the oddball.  or at least, that's way i've always felt.  i've never quite felt comfortable in my own skin.  i believe this is why i choose to play different parts during my everyday life.  upon waking up in the morning, i take on the role of

gym guy, complete with
                                        cutoff shirt and prehistoric grunting.

 i will oftentimes ride enjoy a motorcycle ride to work which is nice because i have a brief but obvious transition from  

                          harley man
to

upwardly bound business type; the transition from leather to suit and tie is oh so fun.

i usually end my days with a barrage of different musical influences and my many masks simmer in a cauldron of all things john, a complicated potion.

i never really settle into any one of them.  i'm like a chameleon.  these costume changes never really affect how i feel about politics or anything of that nature, but let's face it, these outward images change the perception of those around us, and perception is reality.

i'm uncomfortable with reality.

square peg, round hole.

i don't really have a whole lot to say right now.  if you're interested, read further, probably more entertaining posts.  however, it may be cliche, but i would like to part ways with an excerpt from a somewhat notorious literary work, as it is my pseudo-disclaimer...

If we shadows have offended,
Think but this and all is mended,
That you have but slumber'd here
While these visions did appear.
And this weak and idle theme,
No more yielding but a dream